080392
Parentheses - An interruption of continuity; an interval.
"This is one of the things I wasn't prepared for — the amount of unfilled time, the long parentheses of nothing" (Margaret Atwood).
“For every period of time when you exist, short or long, there is a temporal part of you that exists only then. And for any temporal parts of any objects whatsoever, there is a larger object made up of just those parts.” - John Locke
"Every time I enunciate 'I', even in my thought, an identity is assumed, and this identity is itself not simple, but a figure of a complex gathering of personal and impersonal histories, texts, discourses, beliefs, cultural assumptions, and ideological interpellations...it is not an artifact but a process." - Richard Dyer
Sunday, September 27, 2009
it's barely the end of september and i already feel as if the year is closing. how is it that each year passes faster than the previous?
yet i cant help but come to some sort of a conclusion for the year 2009. i know its kind of premature but it seems as if everything is drawing to a close - no more fresh beginnings, no more fresh hope. all that's left is that bittersweet aftertaste. it is only now, when the hectic school life begins to wind down, when the dust that is the mad rush of schoolwork settles, that we/i/many start to sort out our senses, sort out relationship problems, do things that we have always wanted to do, thinking/planning for the near future... figuring out what really is the most important in life. so the past few days were really precious to me. a time for recollection and reflection. through each period like this, it feels as if i've grown more resilient emotionally, and isn't that the best thing really.
been lacking in the faith as well. dying passion, ensnared by the trappings of this world, all selfish ambition. (Will you let Him have the things that hold you?)
sometimes i wish i were older and had a car. that way i'd be able to get away from everything when i feel like it and just stray... go to the beach or river just to collect my thoughts. now that im too young to go out without telling my parents why and where, it frustrates me. and sometimes the yearning to get away does not go away for days... i want to get away, for days on end. disconnect, disconnect.
tell me, how is it possible to dream big when reality sucks like gravity?
restrained by my abilities, sometimes dreaming big is like pretending to be in a parallel universe. so where is the line between fiction and ambition? is ambition constrained by capabilities or should it be allowed to roam free and imagine what could be?
another thing about reality is that you'll never get to know the answers/outcome to the decisions you make, simply because you cant live it again and make another decision and see how it turns out. so a lot of our life is betting, taking risks. we are gamblers. and the sad fact every gambler should know is that sometimes the best bet may turn out to be dead wrong.
ta.
yet i cant help but come to some sort of a conclusion for the year 2009. i know its kind of premature but it seems as if everything is drawing to a close - no more fresh beginnings, no more fresh hope. all that's left is that bittersweet aftertaste. it is only now, when the hectic school life begins to wind down, when the dust that is the mad rush of schoolwork settles, that we/i/many start to sort out our senses, sort out relationship problems, do things that we have always wanted to do, thinking/planning for the near future... figuring out what really is the most important in life. so the past few days were really precious to me. a time for recollection and reflection. through each period like this, it feels as if i've grown more resilient emotionally, and isn't that the best thing really.
been lacking in the faith as well. dying passion, ensnared by the trappings of this world, all selfish ambition. (Will you let Him have the things that hold you?)
sometimes i wish i were older and had a car. that way i'd be able to get away from everything when i feel like it and just stray... go to the beach or river just to collect my thoughts. now that im too young to go out without telling my parents why and where, it frustrates me. and sometimes the yearning to get away does not go away for days... i want to get away, for days on end. disconnect, disconnect.
tell me, how is it possible to dream big when reality sucks like gravity?
restrained by my abilities, sometimes dreaming big is like pretending to be in a parallel universe. so where is the line between fiction and ambition? is ambition constrained by capabilities or should it be allowed to roam free and imagine what could be?
another thing about reality is that you'll never get to know the answers/outcome to the decisions you make, simply because you cant live it again and make another decision and see how it turns out. so a lot of our life is betting, taking risks. we are gamblers. and the sad fact every gambler should know is that sometimes the best bet may turn out to be dead wrong.
ta.
Labels: we are free